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Ching Yee Writes

I Was Obese & Antisocial Part ll

Right now, I think my only happiness is losing weight.

Now where's all the positivity. ( from the previous post )

Did you know that lonely people are actually interesting because they process so much knowledge?

1. I started blogging to speak my mind. This turned out pretty well since it taught me how to code and how to write so that I can captivate people emotionally.
2. I set goals where I told myself that I would be as fit as genetically possible.
3. I concentrated on having better skin care, facial appointments, quality hair products, dyed my hair, anything that is going to improve my looks. But just too bad, I have no style or sense of fashion. 
4. I got good grades in my 3-year diploma program. I have worked really hard. My hard-work paid off.

I have achieved all these things because I wanted to add value to my life. I wanted to be someone important. Often times, people do not see what I have been through to know why I am very determined. They just think that I got lucky or something. If you truly read all the way down here, you can clearly see it has nothing to do with luck. My motivation and determination is what built my success.

It feels good to be called "pretty" but it brought into light how different people perceive beauty in different ways. I for one, never believed that I was ugly or pretty at any point go my life, yes I was huge and I did not look like I do today but I was as comfortable in my own skin than as I am now, and I guess that's what matters the most. The world is a reflection of your own, if you think you are happy, everybody thinks you are happy. I have always believed that your face, your body are temporary things in life and a day will come when they will wither away, because of age if not nothing else, but your personality, the person you are within that stays with you forever till the end of your time. As the saying goes , " a pretty face is nothing with an ugly heart".

So, while people are spending a lot of time trying to be beautiful from the outside, I think what they should be doing is try and be beautiful inside. Having said all that, I would like to acknowledge the fact that this physical change in me has indeed changed me a bit in some ways. In the positive way, I am more confident these days, I can talk to strangers with more ease than I ever used to do before.

I have become a fitness conscious person and I have begun to take good care of my health, more importantly, I realised the importance of physical exercise and healthiness eating habits which will help me in the long run.

In the negative way, I am more apprehensive about the people in my life now, when I was fat and "ugly", I had fewer people in my life but I was always confident that they love me for who I am and not how I look. As for people's reactions, they have always been pleasant and motivating. They keep asking me for tips to lose weight and it really feels good that somebody is being inspired by me. 

And mainly I earned respect from people who used to tease me.

Invest in yourself. You can afford it. Trust me.

 Have a nice day!

Lots of love,

ChingYee.

I Was Obese & Antisocial

Hey guys, I'm finally back to this place again.I have been overweight since 5 years old and it got worse as days passed by. Back then, food was one of my means to enjoy life if nothing else was going for me. My social interaction definitely lacked big time growing up since I spent most of my time on the computer every day.It was pure isolation and I remember my parents being extremely worried about my health.

From unattractive to attractive.Now I'm not saying this because I think I am. I'm saying this simply because I have heard it enough times.Yes, I had to hear it "enough times" to really believe it. Nevertheless,it feels pretty damn great to hear that I'm no longer repulsive looking.

You must be wondering how does this all feel to me.Very honest, it's very euphoric. I have a hard time believing that because let say, if you threw someone in a society that was a lot different from what they are used to believing in,they are going to have a hard time adjusting to the norms.My life acted in a way that was like an "off-on switch". I had no clue how to respond to it.I started getting attention and opportunities that I did not know how to act upon.

I went through a lot of physical changes but I think the strangest thing to adjust to was not my body but how differently people began to treat me. After a decade of being poked fun at , it was almost surreal.The bullying faded away.Suddenly,people stopped laughing at me. Pretty girls I had never imagined approaching me before wanted to be my friend and boys started to talk to me. I cultivated a social sphere for the first time in my life. To me, in this society, look does matter.Whoever says it doesn't , it's a simply plain lie. I have been through that and that's the cold harsh truth you got to accept.

I really did not have much experience with socialising in the beginning. I can be very socially awkward at times since I failed to pick up social cues correctly. Let's not forget, I used to look unapproachable no matter how many smiles I gave.It is,however,a lot better today.

Through this transformation I came to realise that people treat others drastically different depending on how they look.Sometimes just thinking about the stark contrasts of treatment makes me sad.I always hoped there was some deeper meaning to attraction and maybe even how friends would approach one another, but I found that to be untrue.Not to say that attraction is purely based on personality doesn't exist or that genuine love and friendship do not exist, I have just realised to how much you have to look attractive just to be given a chance at some things.

When I was in high school,I was never asked out. I was never approached by anyone , except for some close friends/classmates. I realised that men do not even care to talk to you as friend if you are not moderately attractive ( at least high school aged "men"). Maybe that's a bit of blanket statement but it was definitely my experience. I was far from attractive or completely charming, but I would say that I was worth having as a friend.

Also this may sound funny, since I have been single, I have had several friends try to come in contact me. With this being said,it hasn't changed me and I do not take these people seriously because I understand that these people DON'T really care about me. I know they won't be there to look the 50 or 60 year old me in the eye and tell me how beautiful my spirit,attitude and courage is to them.I don't think about "using" looks as much as I think about treating people kindly despite how they may look. I do,however,believe this is an advantage because since I have experienced genuine kindness, I have realised I know how to spot it out in my own relationships as well as share it with others.

I noticed quite a few changes in my lifestyle and how people treated me. This may just sound specific to me but these were the big changes in my life . Making friends have become a lot easier. I started getting invited to a lot of events and activities. I felt like socialising and going to events was the "cool" thing to do and the thing I should do and take advantage of.Other girls ask me about and pay a lot of attention to my lifestyle.This is weird.

I still can't actually remember how huge I used to look like until I made a comparison of myself back then and now. I still keep thinking of myself looking like I did in high school. Even in a lot of my dreams, I still appear like that girl (left, in the picture below)

Left : When I was in high school .
Right : Now. I know I still have unwanted fats around my body.I know I still have far to go.

Now where's all the positivity! Being that I had a lot of alone time to myself,I read up on a lot of interesting stuff on just about anything, got new hobbies, improved on myself and developed a few skills. I'll list them out real soon. Real soon.

To be continued.............

Stay tuned !

Lots of love,

ChingYee.

My 3rd Weight Loss Anniversary

Yes,I have been on this weight-loss journey for three years and I'm still going on and I hope I reach my goal/destination soon. I did not expect I would have come this far. I used to weigh 98kg. I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and I never,ever exercised.Now I have lost more than half my body weight.Today, I am fit enough to run (though I usually choose not to. hahaha) and fit enough to comfortably wiggle my butt into slim fit jeans/pants ( though I usually wear super stretchy clothes). You might think that when I reflect on my 98kg self,it would be with disdain or pity. But, NO! As the days passed by,I really miss the gifts of living in a body so big that people often turned away.It may sound strange to some, but in this post,I include the reasons why I miss about my old obese self. 

Living as a big girl in a skinny world is extremely difficult. Being a food lover,weight loss has always been challenging. It took a lot effort and commitment to lose weight. I have always been big size and that's okay. However, the bullying I have experienced as a result of my size has really taken a toll on my confidence.Over the years, I have learned to ignore the bullies and love my body but for some reason.One thing was clear, I had hit rock bottom and was in the worst place of my life that I could remember. 

Fast forward to three years to where I am today. My pain (the bullies) has been educational. I feel things that are unfamiliar perhaps and likely that is why the experience is so scary and unsettling but I know much more about myself now than I ever did before. 

Yes,my heart is broken,but in the process my mind opens,my feelings come out and even my spirituality awakens.Personally,I believe that,heartbreak is a teacher that helps me become a better version of myself. If there are ways to improve myself. I learn about them. If you have an internal conflict or personal struggle,you confront it.If your past is haunting you,it comes up now to face you. I always tell myself, 'now is the opportunity to do the internal work,become a better version of yourself and be thankful for the lessons you have learned about yourself.'

So, here are the reasons why I miss about my old obese self ;-

1.Power

When it comes to power,being so fat gave me natural physical strength .Despite daily strength training I am nowhere near as powerful as I used to be.

2. Safety

When I was really so fat,my mom wouldn't have to worry much about me in public places because fat people are harder to kidnap. ( laughs )

3. Perspective

When I was so fat, I understood that most weight changes are fleeting and insignificant.At 98kg, I wore clothes forgiving enough to accommodate so i did not think much of it. I really miss the freedom I once had from noticing and observing over every single pound. As an obese girl, I experienced the world everyday in a body that was  judged, undervalued, demonised, mocked, feared, despised, depressed and avoided.Those awful experiences gave me more empathy,more character,more personality and a broader,richer and more inclusive perspective than lifelong thinness ever could have. I have a much more meaningful appreciation for my health and the body I have today and I sure as hell will never take it for granted.Not to mention the deep respect I automatically have for every person I meet who does not fit the (straight,middle-class,able-bodied) mold. 

4.Friendships

My larger body back then made it easier for my peers to let their guard down and be themselves. I felt less than when I was fat,I was way more forgiving and accommodating and I often edited myself for maximum social appeal.Friendships in my world today are more likely to feel peppered with insecurities.

5.Presence 

Finally,there is the weird disconnect between the size of me in my mind and the size of me,of my physical body,in the world.The 'ME' in my brain is big.My voice is big.My feelings are big.My attitude is big.Years ago,all that bigness was reflected in my body, fat and round,impossible to miss.Now, my personality and my body feel mismatched, like my mind is walking around in shoes several sizes too small.I miss feeling like cohesive whole.I miss inhabiting the grander space I once did.The thinner I get,the more in love I fall with the fat body I once had and with the girl I was before I lost my weight. I am the luckiest person I know, in large part because my personality and perspective were developed in the context of being a fat girl. My relationship to 'thin and pretty' is complicated.As a girl, I nurtured distaste for thin and pretty girl. I let myself imagine I was funnier,smarter and deeper than they were.That idea lifted me up just enough to keep me from drowning in the waves of criticism that were always crashing on my complicated little head.

Wouldn't you know it, years later, I am getting fitter and a little prettier than before ( hahahah, not self-praising) but i am still unhappy,still living from binge to binge and still going no where. Being pretty did not get me here.Sliding into the normal 'BMI' range did not get me here either, what got me here was changing how I treated myself every single day. Thin and pretty got me free drinks,free meals,more friends,but it never get me what this practice has given me ; freedom, genuine and true happiness. 

Lots of love,

ChingYee.

My Weight-Loss Goals

Weight-loss goals can mean the difference between success and failure.Of course,well-planned weight-loss goals keep you focused and motivated,but not all goals are helpful.Overly aggressive weight-loss goals,for example losing few kilograms a week or a month can undermine your efforts.

I remember the first time I set my goal was three years back. I wanted to lose at least 5kg in three years,before my diploma graduation as I wanted to look good in my convocation with my graduation gown and mortar board on. Back then I weighed 98kg.Do you think it's easy for an obese lady like whom I was, to lose even a kg? Definitely not right? But I did ! I have reduced 33kg in three years. Some may think it is not a big deal cos there are people out there who can do better than I am. But to be honest, i am a bit proud of myself. This has been my greatest and biggest life achievement so far. I have never imagined that I would have come this far. Transformation may sound simple but it's not easy.   

Before going into the next stage of life (degree studies), I'm going to set another new goal. I wish I weighed 50 or 55 on my degree convocation.I'm going to make that happen. It may sound ridiculous I know but I think it's always OK to dream big. 

Getting healthy and losing weight doesn't only start in the kitchen or in the gym,it starts in your mind.Deeply ingrained thoughts and beliefs are the source of bad eating and exercise habits.It can result in a negative,overweight self-image.No diet or exercise program can succeed if our mind is working against us.In order to lose weight or maintain your ideal body weight,you must win the mental game of weight control with your inner self. 

I didn't use any fancy exercise regimen,no expensive trainers or classes. I didn't get surgery or join some crazy fitness cult where they monitor everything you do and eat from here to eternity. I become my own trainer and I have my own classes at home with myself and sometimes a few best buds will join in.The way I did it is a method you probably don't hear of very often.I got my mind straight.Many of you already know the basic ways to lose weight.Everyone does.You eat less and exercise more.That's it.Sounds simple right? Maybe even too simple.Because losing weight is hard.Trust me,I know.It has taken me over three years to get here.

Eat less and move your body more.Why does something so simple feel so impossible? This is because we are not just dealing with calories.We are dealing with people.We are dealing with ourselves and we need to understand what we really need and want.I believe that for everyone who is overweight or obese and doesn't want to be,there's a story.

There's a story about how they got that way.Therefore,there needs to be a story for how they're going to stop being that way.Some people ignore these stories.They hire a trainer or buy some weight loss program without actually engaging with the stories of their lives.Unsurprisingly,these people pretty much always fail to get thin and even if they do,the vast majority end up gaining all of the weight back.

Losing weight is as much psychological as it is physical.Counting calories and workout plans are fine but we do not change our behaviour without dealing with our mind and our emotions.

Remember,your journey isn't the same as anyone else,but it doesn't matter when you start or why you start,it only matters that you start.You aren't too old,too heavy or too set in your ways.Just decide you can owe it to your fabulous life to take care of you.

Like I said,losing weight and staying healthy is a mental game between you and your inner self. Best of luck to you and me.

Lots of love,

ChingYee

The Good,The Bad,The Ugly

Through the ups and downs of life,the scale and emotions,I share with you my stories as a form of therapy and as a way to help remove stigmas associated with trying to live up to social expectations of being perfect.I will not ever promise to be perfect but I will promise to share candidly my journeys of learning how to be healthy in an unhealthy world.

I started my blog for two reasons;

1. To hold me accountable and to help me professionally

2. I started taking pictures of all my meals and the progress pictures and blogging bout them,which kept me on track and helped me connect with other supportive,health focused people.

I am glad I had good results because the process are crazy and right now I really need the lift and the motivation to keep on track and fight for good choices when there are so many temptations.

Today, I am going to talk about my views on school pinafore.

If you have seen me wearing this before,now you know how hard I have fought.

School girls around my age back then always looked nice and cute in their school pinafore but except my case.Wearing school pinafore was my worst nightmare especially when it comes to the day when I had to attend tuition right after school.People would give me 'a kind of look'. I have always loved meeting new people,making new friends but unfortunately,my size has automatically stopped things like that to happen. I loved going to school but the thought of wearing pinafore always seemed like I just got hit by a big truck. The zip and buckle on my pinafore looked like they were about to burst anytime and what's even sadder is, it did burst when I was in form five. It was so tight but I did not have intention to get a new one because I wanted to push myself to lose weight but I failed terribly.I did not lose any but I gained more. My friends know how horrible I used to stuff myself with food.

You may not understand how being mentally bullied feels like cos I have experienced that and that's horrible. I think I should really thank my parents for sending me to a all girls school,at least from there it gets to reduce the level of embarrassment to the lowest and I did not get 'bullied' much about my size. 

There is always a war going on inside my body,a war of signals,a war between strength and weakness.

And now,I'm bringing you the best of my worst pictures for added entertainment value.

                                     

As you can seen from the picture above, 

TOP : I was trying to be cute but.... if it was a normal girl doing that,it would be fine but because I am so FAT/HUGE in this picture,I automatically look ridiculous. 

BELOW : After three years of battling with my weight, I gained back a little bit confidence by putting a big smile on my face and I hope it's not horrible. ( I know it is)  

I can't believe the pinafore I used to hate looks so big on me now. 

Now,when it comes to the second picture, what do you have to say? Honestly, I got excited to share my progress with you all. I shrank into a smaller size not to "preserve and decency" but because I thought the visual disparities would be more immediate to the eye this way. I'm displaying unflattering photos on myself for the world to scrutinise and criticise on the internet but hey, i do not give a damn on it anymore. I think I have reached the point where my physique is no secret or big deal, it is what it is and no matter anybody says about me (omg , look at ccy's ass so fat,so big,yuck,like a mother of cow,omg have you seen her wearing her school pinafore? like an 'oink' ) well, it it not going to faze me in the slightest. Yes, I do not say I am completely slim and fit but compared to who I used to be, I feel a little proud of myself. 

Same pinafore (clipped ),same girl but I feel brand new, happier and stronger.

Compared to the left side of the above picture......

I guess my weight is matter-of-fact thing to me right now and I am so thankful that I can feel rational about it because the worst feeling I have felt , is knowing that you are not in the shape and that you are horribly unhealthy yet feeling absolutely no resolution to do anything about it. Then letting people's daggers of insults mercilessly rip you apart again and again.I know exactly how it feels like because whenever I tell people my heaviest weight was 98kg at one point in time, their jaw dropped and their eyes go bigger, like a goldfish.I was not in the overweight category but in the obese class two where my BMI scale reached 42 !

You should not let yourself become too caught up with being ashamed of your obesity as long as you are trying to work towards a solution.Everyone's got their own problems.You should embrace it like a real mental issue which results in physical consequences,such as anorexia and depression. People often laugh at fat people all the time and think they are just greedy pigs who eat too much without exercising enough.

Making assumption is like saying anorexia only happens to bimbos who are so obsessed with vanity they do not know how to differentiate skinny and malnutrition.I have been both depressed and obese before.It's unfair to make such sweeping statements about a condition you have not been through yourself. If you have been through that shit, you won't be so quick to judge others for it. You would never understand those tough battles. 

I love food and food loves me so much that it wants to stay on my hips forever. I think the reason why I gained so much weight is because I was too uninspired to do anything about my horizontally expanding figure.In a way,I wanted to just be fat and happy. Now I realise, fat and happy are two words that are nearly impossible to use in the same sentence. If you want something enough,you will make time for it to work out.If you look good,you feel good.It is just the way it is.It is not about being superficial and it is about being realistic.Being really overweight to me is like having oily messy engrossed hair that's full of dandruff,bad breath or body odour.These are things that are considered universally undesirable or unattractive not because everyone's a judgemental on a pedestal.

Everyone wants to be with someone who is healthy,someone they can feel good around.I used to think that I was pretty and cute (biggest joke ever)

I'm feeling a lot more confident,happy and healthy these days.And I have more friends than before.

I am still flabby and thick of course. If you touch my stomach,arms and thighs,they jiggle like jelly.I am definitely not toned nor close to ideal physique still,which I would really some day like to be,after I work all these fats off. However long it takes, I hope,prey and would like to believe, some day I will get there.

For now,I do feel rather pleased with myself,for I know I have come from an obese class two to being a few kg away from being in an ideal weight category. I have so many people to thank for this. I can't say I could have done this all by myself without them.That would be a lie.When I faltered,they stuck by me and encouraged me the whole time,always pushing me along when I needed the most motivation.

I have never been one to use diet drugs or drastic diet fads. I support being at a healthy and happy weight. I hope whoever comes across this page and decides to stay and join me on my weight loss journey can benefit from my successes and failures.Please feel free to give me tips,advice,questions,comments and etc.

I may not be a role model to you,by the way, I can be your companion.I shine the light on the path and we struggle along together.I keep the tone to my page very lighthearted because trying to eat right and stay fit can put a lot of pressure on a person.If you can learn to laugh through your journey,it relieves some of the stress and it can help you stay more in control.

Losing weight and being healthy is not always glamorous and I pride myself in being able to share what it is really like.

I want readers to leave this page informed,inspired and a little bit giggly.

P/s : Here's a big hug to whoever of you who has left me some nice words,thank you very much! :*

Lots of love,

ChingYee.

Reasons Why I Don't Want To Be A Giant Anymore or Ever Again!

Over the past 3 years,I have gained and lost more than 30kg.I know it may sound ridiculous to you but yeahh it's true. That is a lot of weight that I can't begin to imagine I have come this far.

At my heaviest weight was 98kg and now I'm a few kg to 60kg. My ideal weight according to nutritionist is 55kg and even though I dare not to say this to them  ( in case I can't make it/in case people will laugh at me), really, in my heart I am hoping for 50kg.I am not that tall. I know of girls around my height who are 45kg-50kg,they look cute and amazing.If I am going to set a target for myself might as well put it at the level of 'amazing', right? My next goal is to be as slim as possible, not just to be fit or healthy weight anymore because I am already so near to the previous goal I have set. Now, it's about moving on the next mile stone and to be honest, it's about ideals,not just basics.I know I already have quite a number of blog posts documenting my weight loss journey but in this post,I want to bring you a little deeper and share with you my innermost thoughts and some secrets I have kept for so long.

Being obese made me extremely upset.I felt horrible about myself all the time and I always came up with sad excuses to hang out with my friends for what I lacked ( confidence,a realistic perception of my own body and the determination to do something about it). Relatives who hadn't seen me in a long time always had to mask their surprise/shock/horror when they saw how much weight I'd gained.Even my own dad offered me $$$ if I could lose at least 3kg back then.Most days, I felt dejected,victimized and most of all unaccepted.In my head, a little voice always goes why can't these people love me for who I am? Why can't they just accept that I like food and I'm okay with being huge?

I got superb mad at anyone who called me fat. ( I know I am still fat now. hahaha). I knew it was the truth but I hated how everyone used 'fat','huge' as a weapon against me. At the end of the day,nobody likes their flaws being pointed out and thrown around for fun of public humiliation even if it is the truth. No ugly person wants to be labelled as unattractive and the more you call someone out for being less than perfect,the more likely they will recline further into their shell and block themselves out from the world.

Obesity hit me real good.It kicked me so hard in the face that I was knocked out and in denial for the longest time.I thought I was 'curvy' and 'real-sized' but I didn't realize I was actually disgustingly unhealthy and the worst part of being super huge is looking in the mirror and seeing your reflection screams back at you. THIS IS BECAUSE OF YOUR UNWILLINGNESS TO CHANGE THE SITUATION !

As someone who has reduced more than 30kg the past years, I can say that weight is not that hard to lose. 1 or 2 kg? No problem. I can lose that in less than a week. The real difficult part is, staying motivated and determined and keeping up the weight loss progress and losing anything more than 5kg,yeah,that's tough. Fat people are fat for a reason.They love food,they are super duper lazy,they eat all sorts of bad food.

I still love food to this day,as much as I did when I was 98kg. But through all the emotional trauma,life changes and self-denial,somewhere along the line,I decided that 'enough was enough' and I have just about had it with being a super huge giant girl.No more feeling like I'm worth less just because I have got flabs hanging out everywhere. No more crying myself to sleep because of something someone had said or because I hated myself for what I was doing to me. No more dying while climbing a flight of stairs.

I HATED BEING HUGE AND GOD, I NEVER EVER EVER WANT TO BE 'GIANT' AGAIN!

I came up with some simple reasons why I never want to be 'giant' again/ why I hated being huge and searched through my old pictures to bring you the very best of my worst pictures for added entertainment value.I am surprised by my own brazen ( or shameless) behavior,publishing photos that equal to social suicide but who cares? That person isn't me anymore and if photos of myself in the past can teach a lesson or provide some laughs to you,why not? hahaha.

This post revolves entirely around my personal opinions on obesity because I hope it will teach out to whoever needs this little push along their way. Everyone knows the basic reasons why you should be healthy.My reasons in this post vary from personal,to superficial and plain legit.We all have the right to feel what we want about ourselves,but having come so far on my own weight loss journey,I thought it would be a real shame if I didn't share these sentiments with you who might find them helpful.Even though I have not reached my ideal weight yet and I am still fat/chubby in my opinion.I will get there soon enough.

Here is my own motivation for doing so.

You see the photo above? I was wearing a white blouse for my high school graduation because I couldn't find any dress that could fit me. Sad? I think so. When you get fat,your boobs get enormous. You know what,enormous boobs are heavy.Don't know how large my boobs were at my fattest,maybe a very large D or borderline E, but boy imagine carrying around pomelos or watermelons on your chest. That's what it felt like.They were so big,they literally hurt.Jogging or running was a nightmare because those things wouldn't stop bouncing everywhere.Every bra felt like it didn't give enough support,no one sports bras that could fit my 'watermelons'.

I just want to take pictures beside my gorgeous,slimmer girlfriends and not feel terribly inferior and horrible about myself.

Pictures below. 

NO PHOTOSHOP!

Picture above was taken when I was in form five ( 2012) .

This fitting-room selfie is taken just now . Not having to photoshop so much saves me plenty of time when I'm posting pictures online and I am also no longer afraid of my own reflection.

P/s: Sorry for the low camera quality.

I just wanna feel happy and comfortable in my own skin. The beast above these two pictures is NOT pretty or even sexy. hahaha.

It's not a nice feeling when you walk,your thighs rub together or when your armpits get smelly because the fats are blocking ventilation.Staring at my own naked body was gut-wrenching.

Even if you're born with good features or a pretty face,getting fat can fu*k that all up. I think I was born with pretty 'okay' looks. At least, I do not think I am really that ugly but that's not to say I think I am a 10. I would give myself a 5/10. I guess that is a healthy dosage of self-confidence right? hahaha. But man,when I started piling on the kilograms,a lot of the original 'me' got lost along the way. I used to think that even though I was getting fatter, at least my face still looks good. Holy! How wrong was I. 

Below is the recent selfie of me,which you can compare to the above.

So,if you're overweight/obese,losing weight will make your face look younger/bettter. (Though my face is still fat.) 

I wanted people who loved me to not be embarrassed of my physique and I wanted them to be proud of who I was.Last but definitely not least,I don't want to let myself give people reasons to insult me ot make me feel like I'm worth any less a person,just because I'm fat or huge.Enough of  the 'giant' jokes, fat insults and fat comments. 

Thank god I have come this far,because in every family reunions,my loud relatives no longer exclaim with widened eyes, WAHH YEEEE,SOOOOO FATTTT AHH!!? WHERE GOT PEOPLE WANT YOU?? 

There is truly nothing more embarrasing than taunting relatives during every reunions.Every flaw you ever had,they won't hesitate to put it out in the open discussion material.Getting fatter and fatter? Seriously,in front of all your cousins and other relatives,where to hide your face?

The harsh truth and reality of the world,if you're huge, you will be judged and you will be teased. But trust me, you can put an end to all of it.

So there, the reasons here are clear enough to why I don't want to ever be that huge again.If you can't relate to any of my points, congrats, you have never been fat enough. If yes, I beg you, do yourself a favor and shedding those pounds.I have been where you are now and it's possible to emerge from that pile of confidence-sucking crap.

Life changing in every aspect and without a doubt the best thing/most difficult thing I have done for myself in recent times.

Loves,

ChingYee.